Personal Reflection on Miscarriage
Lost makes it sound misplaced like we left it on the bus
On in the shops or up the street but really this is us.
Lost sounds so trivial but there are no better words, it was here one day and gone the next not destined for this world.
Lost is really all we are,
as we now feel empty inside.
As we fill our day with meaningless things which can help us hide.
Lost our baby, our baby is gone, our baby that never came.
Lost to this world but still in our hearts and we still we feel the shame.
Lost one once now lost again the pain feels never ending. I’d already cried so many tears for previous years, I thought our hearts had mended.
But when we lost you. We lost again. And I constantly feel so mad, cause when We lost you, we lost again so many unmade plans.
I felt you leave which I will never forget
and I know I need to grieve,
My body aches, though it let you go – it weeps. It yearns,
but it lost you,
let you go.
Literally down the drain.
The questions I keep asking Why, when, where.
Could we have not gotten lost, maybe changed this course?
Was there a map to avoid this pain?
Everyone says it’s nothing you’ve done, but it had to have been my fault
the guilt grows strong
More than you. You’ve stopped growing. You’ve gone.
We Lost our baby, our baby is gone, our baby that will never be. Lost to this world but still in our hearts. I hope I can loose this feeling.
Our Lost Baby, Brother or Sister at 10 weeks we lost you. You were a baby. Not just a baby. But our Baby, baby number 3.
Lost baby, we hope you found your way to Neverland.
Alyson