Pregnancy loss within the LGBTQIA community
Pregnancy loss is a really difficult experience to go through, even when you have avenues of support you can lean on.
However, for a lot of LGBTQIA people affected by pregnancy loss, the specialist support available is scarce. It can seem like the process of pregnancy and pregnancy loss is still built around heterosexual experiences, which can add to the distress or sense of isolation while navigating this situation.
We offer helpline, live chat and email support services, as well as support groups and online communities. Everyone is welcome to attend or use these, because we believe every pregnancy loss matters.
Personal stories:
Below are some of the personal stories that are on our website which you may find helpful. We hope this will help you to feel less alone in what you’re going through.
Laura-Rose talks of the isolation she and her wife Stacey have felt, both as being mothers together and when they experienced a miscarriage – and how they have used their experience to make a positive difference for other LGBTQIA people.
Their full story is available here.
There’s a lack of understanding about the dynamics of LGBT+ relationships and how loss can affect each person in different ways.
Jess created a blog after her and her wife, Natalies’s, loss of Leo, who was stillborn at 37 weeks, and an early loss at 6 weeks. They have since nurtured a welcoming and inclusive space online, to help other LGBTQIA parents struggling after pregnancy loss.
You can read their story of loss here.
Early pregnancy is such a lonely time. There is no-one who can help you, and give you the reassurance that you need. What is just a few weeks to some, feels like a lifetime of energy and anxiety, and fight to stay positive.
Erin and Rachel share their story of their IUI pregnancy loss, from both of their perspectives. They write about the physical process, telling those around them, and the support they received from eachother, family and a health professional.
Erin later became a volunteer for the Miscarriage Association, and has been with us for 11 years.
You can read their story here.
They checked again and still the heartbeat was gone. Our baby was gone. I remember walking out of the hospital in a numb bubble with Erin – holding the weight of this new, awful news between us.
We have more personal stories of LGBTQIA* pregnancy loss, which you can find here.
*We recognise that the LGBTQIA stories we presently feature are from lesbian couples and female couples. We are working to expand on these. If you are part of the LGBTQIA community and would like to share your story of pregnancy loss, we’d like to hear from you. To reflect a wide range of experiences, we’d particularly like to hear from you if you have a different experience to those already included, for example, if you are gay, trans or non-binary. Please do get in touch by emailing catherine@miscarriageassociation.org.uk.
Accessing our support:
You can call our helpline on 01924 200799, start a live chat via our website, or email us at info@miscarriageassociation.org.uk.
You may also like to attend a support group. We hold face-to-face and Zoom support groups, and you can find the details of these here. You can also invite a loved one to sit with you throughout the group.
You might like to access support that is specifically for LGBTQ+ people navigating fertility issues, or pregnancy loss. Below, we have listed some resources you may find helpful. If you have any resources you have found that have helped you through, we’d love to list them for others to find. Just get in touch.
The Legacy of Leo blog was set up by Jess, who shared her story above. She also hosts Baby Loss Hour on the Legacy of Leo Instagram page.
LGBT Mummies was founded by Laura-Rose and Stacey, who shared their story with us (linked above). Visit their website, along with their support groups and more information about their live campaigns.
Other sources of support you may find helpful:
Amos Anchors provide resources for those going through pregnancy loss. They have an extensive list of resources for LGBTQIA parents, including blogs, websites, books, podcasts and social media accounts.
This article from Sue Ryder explores the challenges that come with going through grief as an LGBTQ+ person, and how they you through grief in a sensitive way. Do note that this goes through various types of grief, but does also touch on baby loss.
RTZ Hope is an online community supporting bereaved parents and families. This page goes through the fertility experience and its costs, along with the experience of non-birthing parents, and a list of resources you might find helpful.
Bereavement charity, Cruse, explores the challenges you may face when going through grief, in a more general way.
Baby in Heaven provides a list of online support groups for bereaved parents.
LGBTQ Reproductive Loss has a list of resources here for LGBTQ+ Reproductive Loss, along with some general support resources.
Infertility and Fertility Treatment
Fertility Network UK holds a Zoom support group for LGBTQ people undergoing fertility treatment. This page also leads to their closed Facebook groups, which you could join.
The Royal College of Obstetrics and Gynaecology has a blog from a same sex couple who have written about their fertility journey.
LGBTQ Reproductive Loss has a section for advice, for both parents and for people wanting to support people they know through a difficult time. This includes miscarriage, stillbirth, adoption loss and infertility and sterility. The advice given is from other parents who have gone through the experience themselves.