So two years later
And too much turmoil
Has been unable to spoil
The wonder of you
Our line of blue
As we walk blind
Into the future unwound
Our fears born out
And the rollercoaster starts out
Towards the dreaded
Date embedded
First scan
A 40 week plan
Impossible to ignore
Ripping at our core
So we pray
And delay
To be absolutely certain
That any final curtain
Will be for real
But the little blip reveals
A thousand tears
Un-realised fears
And options for weekly appointments
Weekly disappointments
That we could not survive
If he did not stay alive
So we move on into the New Year
And keep our hope near
That this time it is just routine
That this time it will be pristine
And we opt for the safest route
Our worries put on mute
C-section is chosen
The date is frozen
In time
Eight long weeks slip by
The inescapable date
Our unavoidable fate
Comes around
Our hearts pound
Time accelerates
Anticipates
Slips by
Hears our cries
And then
And then….
Out he comes
Our past undone
A piercing scream
His smile, a dream
My chest caves in
Four years of pain
Released
Ceased
And fate stands corrected
Three months later
Happiness sublime
A small taster, sublime
But my little boys
Our unrealised joys
Are not left unknown
Are not left alone
And I am still…
So sorry (and will never forget you)