When I look back at the seven miscarriages I endured before giving birth to Raya, I still recall the hurtful things people said while trying to be kind.

Things like “it wasn’t meant to be”, or “you can always have another one”, and even “it wasn’t a real baby”! But you still feel you have lost a baby and if people don’t acknowledge that, it can be very upsetting. I only heard about The Miscarriage Association after my third miscarriage. It was good to know that I was not alone and that many other couples did eventually have a baby. In 2001 I ran the London Marathon, raising just over £1,000 in sponsorship and getting publicity for The M.A. too.

After my fourth miscarriage I was diagnosed with a blood-clotting problem and was treated with aspirin and heparin. But it took three more miscarriages before doctors detected a structural problem in my uterus and I needed three operations to solve the problem.

Shortly before I had Raya, I was invited to become a media volunteer for The M.A.. I appeared in their short film about miscarriage and now I’m willing to tell my story. I want to raise awareness of the suffering that miscarriage can cause and of the help that The M.A. can provide.

But I also want to change attitudes – to make the public and health professionals aware of the need to be sensitive and supportive, to listen rather than comment and to understand that each miscarriage could have been a baby.